This month I want you to remember that love is not a race, or a competition, or something tangible that you can hold in your hands. You are not being held against an hourglass where your possibilities for happiness are slowly ticking away. If you feel as though you need to fight to keep people in your life, and they wouldn’t do the same for you, reconsider who you’re giving your energy to. Reconsider who you want to be remembered as. Reconsider the route you’re taking in order to reach your destination.
Every time you walk into a room, your first instinct is to search for the nearest exit route. Things haven’t always been easy for you; there have been toxic environments and people that have left and you have learned how to grow in spite of that. But it hasn’t been easy, not by a long shot. If another person were in your shoes, you would be much kinder to them than you are to yourself. Just because nobody is telling you that they’re proud of you, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a reason to celebrate.
It’s always been easier for you to function when things are laid out on your bed for you, all decisions predetermined by someone else. You take comfort in not having to be in charge, yet still, find yourself upset when things don’t pan out as you would’ve liked them to. Start acting as though you’re the boss of yourself, again. Your body is yours, despite everyone and everything that’s tried to tell you it isn’t. Reclaim autonomy over yourself, sooner rather than later.
You can count the number of people you fully trust on one hand, and while that isn’t necessarily a bad thing it does prevent you from existing as comfortably as you could. Practice vulnerability in the coming weeks with people that you wouldn’t normally, and try examining both sides of a situation before making judgments. Opening yourself up and communicating with unfiltered honesty is a process, but one that will do you a lot of good.
There are some troubling events from the past that are going to be making themselves known in the coming weeks, and you can’t let these memories deter you from all of the progress that you’ve made. If life is a crack in the sidewalk you’re the dandelion growing out of it. Be kind to yourself in the difficult moments. Accept the love that you give out so generously, and surround yourself with those that remind you of your worth. You’re going to be okay. What’s already past cannot touch you.
Keep a level head when faced with sticky situations. It’s easy to open your mouth and say too much at the wrong time, and you need to be cautious of how you’re presenting yourself. Your intentions may be completely evident to you, but that doesn’t mean they’re automatically clear to everyone around you. Allow yourself to close the book this month and open up another one. If an opportunity to reinvent yourself presents arrives at your door, take it. You won’t regret trying to be happy again.
Something else has gone wrong and you’re running out of words to articulate your disappointment with. Even though you approach life knowing that it’s going to take its best shots at you, the punches never seem to stop stinging. Try to remember that you don’t have to go through all of this alone. Your heart may be strong, but that doesn’t mean you need to refuse the help that’s offered to you. In case nobody’s reminded you, lately: you’re a good person. You really, really are.
Maybe the reason you continue to find yourself bored with your life isn’t because of the people you’re surrounding yourself with, but due to your attitude regarding it. When’s the last time that you looked in the mirror and asked yourself who you really are, without the aspects of your persona that you crafted specifically for the outside world? Go back to your roots and apologize to those that you still think about every so often. You’ll feel a lot better once you obtain closure.
Lately, you’ve been looking at the people you thought were your friends, wondering why they always seem to abandon you when things get difficult. But it’s important to remember that if you don’t tell people that you’re hurting, they won’t be able to help you. Sometimes the warning signs that you think are obvious don’t come across to those that you love; give them a hand. You know better than anyone how terrible it is to suffer in silence — stop forcing yourself into it.
So, you’ve been reminded that nothing is permanent and you’ve been letting that terrify you for no good reason. Your future aspirations don’t have to be concrete, unmovable things; there’s no shame in making alterations, or changing your mind, or backtracking in order to figure out how you arrived at your current location. Having to make readjustments doesn’t mean that you’ve failed, or that anybody is looking at you differently. Talk to someone you trust. Don’t shoulder all of that uncertainty alone.
You’re teetering on the edge of a new era of your life, and it’s hard not to feel as though you’re grossly unprepared for what’s next. Take everything in the coming months one step at a time. Look at it not in terms of its big picture, but in terms of the parts that contribute to making it whole. Time has opened up for you lately, and instead of berating yourself for your lack of productivity, start utilizing it. Sometimes just acting as though you know what you’re doing is enough to carry you through life’s variability.
It feels as though you’re constantly being peppered with unanswerable questions and, in response, your self-doubt has skyrocketed. Don’t let people that haven’t been inside of your head dictate where you should go, and what you should do with your life. It’s unnatural to know what the exact effects of your choices will be, but you’ll never find out if you don’t settle down and choose something. As difficult as it is to resist the influence of people that you admire, try your best. You’ll thank yourself later.